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Judaism and Marriage
Jews consider marriage a holy institution. From the name
"kiddushi," meaning sanctification, the wedding
ceremony dates back to the earliest days and is associated
with the giving of the Torah at Sinai.
The essence of marriage in the Jewish faith is for the
couple to establish a faithful Jewish home.
The wedding rituals can be viewed as a series of events
beginning with the reading of the Torah by the groom on the
Shabbat or sabbath of the week before the wedding.
The readings are chosen to express the teachings of the
Torah as guide for a successful marriage.
On the day of the wedding, the couple, having fasted,
recite the Book of Psalms and ask for forgiveness for any
transgressions of their youth. Because on one's wedding day,
God forgives those transgressions, the ceremony is thought of
as a private Yom Kippur for the couple.
In a written commitment document composed by the couple
and their parents, the conditions of the union are expressed
and agreed upon. Once this document is signed and read
aloud, a plate is broken symbolizing that just as the
breaking of the plate is irreversible, the agreement for the
engagement is also irreversible.
Just prior to the ceremony, the groom, along with the
groom's father, veil the bride, an act symbolic of the modesty
and chastity of the Jewish woman. This veiling also signifies the
bride's duty as a Jewish woman and shows others her
faithfulness and devotion to her husband.
The wedding ceremony is performed under a canopy. The
bride circles the groom seven times and, as consecration of
the woman, the groom gives the bride a wedding ring and the
marriage contract, after which the married couple leave to
break their fast in private.
It is traditional to include blessings and the exchange
of wine as symbolic of the sanctity of marriage.
As a legally binding marriage, tradition dictates that at
least two witnesses, unrelated to the couple, attest that all
the aspects of the marriage have taken place.
Marriage in the Jewish tradition is an expression of
confidence and trust in each other. It signifies the legal
and moral commitments as detailed in Jewish law and customs
and is a declaration of the dignified status of the woman.
It should be noted that as a legal and consensual private
contract between the bride and groom, there is no
requirement for clergy to be present although today, to
satisfy civil laws, a rabbi usually participates.
It is customary to conclude the wedding ceremony with the
recitation of the Seven Blessings. These blessings
are said in the presence of ten men and acknowledge God as
the creator of mankind, joy, the bride and the groom.
- You are blessed, Lord our God, the sovereign of the
world, who created everything for his glory.
- You are blessed, Lord our God, the sovereign of the
world, the creator or man.
- You are blessed, Lord our God, the sovereign of the
world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of
His own likeness, and provided for the perpetuation of
his kind. You are blessed, Lord, the creator of man.
- Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful
at her joyous reunion with her children. You are
blessed, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.
- Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You
made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long
ago. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and
bride happy.
- You
are blessed, Lord our God, the sovereign of the world,
who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride,
rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and
brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be
heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the
streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of
celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of
a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their
weddings and of young men from their feasts of song.
You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the
bride rejoice together.
- You are blessed, Lord our God, the sovereign of the
world, creator of the fruit of the vine.
Finally, after these blessings have been offered, the
couple drinks from a glass and the groom breaks the glass
under his right foot, symbolizing the destruction of the
Holy Temple of Jerusalem.
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